How to respond to failure
How to respond to failure
I wish we were living in a perfect world. I wish we were perfect and always making the perfect choices so that we always get the perfect results.
In this ideal world everything would have been easy and we would carry on with ease, happy and content, feeling good about ourselves and our lives.
The reality we are living in though is far from perfect. We are also far from perfect too. This means that we do not always take the right decisions or make the right choices. Or, maybe we do but, but there are so many factors involved each time in each step we take, that we are bound not to succeed in everything we do.
But how do we measure success? How we measure success also determines how we measure failure. This has to do a lot with our belief system. In other words how we were trained since our very young age from our parents, teachers peers and society as a whole.
Because these groups of people have given us specific measures which to count success and if these measures are not there then we define the result as failure. And failure is not good we were told. Failure in an endeavour we have undertaken reflects back on us and we usually tend to own and identify ourselves with failure – especially when we have witnessed it often.
So how we respond to failure depends on how we perceive failure.
If failure is seen as devastating result of something we have done – or not done – and a reflection of our inability then, this will have a serious and detrimental impact on our psychology, our self confidence and self esteem.
So we were taught that if:
- we don’t achieve our initial goal / target;
- we don’t get what we want when we want it;
- we don’t generate money from it;
- we don’t generate fame from it;
- we don’t bring the results others expect from out;
we have failed.
And it’s one thing to fail in single projects and it’s a whole other thing if we generalise this to make it as a reality of the self – feeling a failure.
Now once we fall in the trap of considering ourselves as a failure it’s not an easy thing to come out from and it can only drag us deeper, attracting more and more experiences of the same energy: failure.
If we reach to that point then the only solution is therapy and here I would recommend EFT but there are many others that promise to help an individual clear these beliefs and also clear the emotions and neutralise the memories of traumatic experiences of the past in connection to failure.
However, if we make a step in being able to respond to failure with a different frame of mind and in a way that failure is not projected on us – as on our character / skills / talents – we can not only avoid hurt and sorrow from unwanted results but we can actually experience benefit.
Like everything in life, it all has to do with perception.
Here are some tips on how to respond to failure:
- Understand that the experience of failure is part of life and it happens to EVERYONE – even the best of the best – so you are not alone in this.
- Try and find what you have learnt in the process, how more knowledgeable or wise you have become, how much more experienced, so next time you will perform better.
- See the “failure” as a stepping stone towards your future success as you find more on how to do better.
- Investigate as to what may have gone wrong – maybe there is a different route, different method, different timing, different location, different audience / recipients, different team members involved, different pricing that needs to happen. It’s not just you. It could be a thousand and one things that might have gone wrong or did not work.
- Believe in yourself and the things you can achieve and don’t allow results to determine your success as a person.
- Understand that sometimes things happen for a reason and behind a present failure lies a future success which you wouldn’t have had if that failure did not occur first.
The worse thing we can do is let the fear of failure overpower us and stop us from taking action. Because this is the greatest failure of all.
I have a saying from an anonymous author put on my office wall right above my computer. It says:
“Don’t worry that you’ll take a shot and you’ll miss.
The fact is, you’ll miss every shot you don’t take.”
So embrace your failures as part of the game of life and definitely part of the game of business and move forward towards achieving your goals and dreams, wiser, stronger and more experienced.
[features_box_grey width=”75%” + border=”2px”]
Konstadina Sadoriniou is an internationally renown coach, mentor, trainer, speaker and author in the field of personal and professional development with an experience spanning more than 2 decades. She is the founder of the Positive Change Academy which aims to assist conscious entrepreneurs transform their business in a way that they can attract more clients, more success and more profits; learn ways to cope with the changes; reach their full potential and evolve by walking the path of continuous progress. To receive her empowering guide “104 ways to re-claim & hold your personal power” as well as her content rich e-zine, subscribe today at www.positivechangeacademy.com